If it stops working for me

“Don't eat it, you won't spoil it,” my girlfriend says to me as I look at Margot in my hands. Although she didn't join me in my decision to change my diet, she supports me and often praises me. But she doesn't limit herself. Nor do I ask her to. If she has something good, I either resist or we enjoy it together. I don't make all the calorie-laden treats go away, so I have to learn to manage my cravings and my behavior. Having help from those around me is nice and often makes it easier. But I can do without it.

I'm not always met with understanding as to why I'm changing something. Like with my parents, for example. Any attempt to eat healthier and not overeat is met with the constant presentation of freshly baked buns, rich lunch menus and regular evening barbecues of meat or crackling. And on departure, I get several packed rations of food for both the trip and the next three days. The later I succumb to the temptations on offer, the better. But let's face it, I always succumb. I have a very strong will.

I've found small steps to be the best way to make changes. In January, I started by adjusting my breakfast composition to include more protein. I applied the same change to my parents and at least adjusted their breakfasts to fit.

“Everything okay?” my boss asked me at work one September afternoon. “Healthwise?” he asks. There have been only a few times during the year that someone has shown genuine interest in how I'm doing. Most people don't care about others. It only confirmed to me that as no one around me addressed my weight gain, no one addressed my weight loss either. In short, I am not the center of the universe and the world does not revolve around my smallness.

It will always be about me and me alone. How much time, effort and energy I devote to my goal. And right now, in September, I have failed several times. My girlfriend and I spent five days in Barcelona. I also spent the same amount of time with my parents. Plus a few beer events. I didn't watch myself, I lost focus and the numbers on the scale matched it.

I don't mind. I made mistakes. But I need to get back into my - now standard - mode as quickly as possible. Not from the new month. Not from tomorrow. But now.