“You started losing weight?” my friend asked as I stood next to her on the tram. “Yeah, I've lost some weight,” I nod, surprised and slightly embarrassed. The question immediately followed whether I had stopped eating or started exercising. As if there was no other option. “I've tweaked my diet a bit and added protein. I'm watching myself,” I admit, realizing I'm not comfortable talking about it.
No further feedback has come in. Eager for praise, I didn't give in and started subtly pointing out to people in my vicinity during conversations. “I'm fine. I'm down a few pounds since the new year,” I bragged.
Most interesting are the changes I notice in myself. With each weight loss, I felt my body was different. At first, I thought my collarbones were starting to protrude. In the morning when I woke up, my stomach felt smaller and flatter. But the feeling that something was different always lasted only a few days. The brain and eyes adapt quickly. I can't confirm the stories of people who say they suddenly have more energy after losing weight. At least for now. I still have a lot of pounds to lose, and I secretly hope the energy rush will come.
The change in weight is easy to see in the clothes. My pants have started to fall down and I'm putting the belt on the last hole. But the shops are closed, so shopping must wait. I don't like having too much stuff around. Only what I actually wear is in plain sight in my wardrobe. In February, I got everything dressed and sorted into four piles. Small, just right, big and throw away. I put the small and large items in boxes and stored them on the top shelf. While the box labeled large was half empty, the one with the small stuff was full. A size L t-shirt, a coat the same size from a yard sale, or a shirt that I'll wear but definitely won't button up.
I had to repeat the same action in April. Intuitively, I avoided clothes in my closet that were too loose. It made me happy to stuff the box with the big stuff to the brim and return it to the top shelf. The empty spaces were filled with pieces from the other box. But not all of them. Maybe I'll successfully button the shirt. But I certainly can't sit in it without risking a button popping off. Anyway, back in the box labeled small. I'll try it a few pounds later.
I've never been able to lose weight at this rate on purpose before. I've only made small changes to my lifestyle and yet they have had a much bigger impact than I would have thought possible.
I'm happy about that. Losing weight feels good.